5 days after The Exam was done & the results are out today.
How's the exam?
It's doable to be honest. I wouldn't say it was easy peasy. Pretty tricky if you don't read it carefully. With a super long paragraph for one question... you would tend to get nervous. Psycho orang skit kan.
Did I do well?
To be honest, I'm super duper scared for the morning paper. With 7 compulsory (1 skill level, 6 Knowledge Level) and 1 base key (Knowledge Level) subject in the morning... Failing one of the 7 compulsory would means failing The Exam. & knowing that there are a few questions with big marks that I didn't have the time to do it well.... don't we get super nervous about it.
For the afternoon paper, we have 11 subjects to cover ( 6 Knowledge Level, 5 Awareness Level). I pretty much think I could answer most of it. Admittedly there are about 2-5 that got me stuck for a while but it doesn't worry me as much as the morning's paper.
Oh well. I did tried my very best. But it doesn't stop me from worrying. Is my best enough for me to pass?
Praise to Allah Almighty for the rizq to achieved my personal target. I managed to pass with MERIT~! Yeay! \(^.^)/ Truly grateful for the results even though we have 6 gaps that are still open. It feels like half the burden of 2015 has been lifted off my shoulder. Now, we need to think about the other half... which is still unknown at the moment.
I'm hoping I could stay with Exploration Team. There are still lots to learn in Exploration and with it being very dynamic, I'm attracted to the challenges. Let me in, onegaishimasu! I wanna be an explorer!
Let's hope we get what we want. :)
The People who contributed to our success?
Without the Parents, we are nothing. Enuff said.
Without my Power Paff Girls - without our study group, we won't get this far. Thank You & Congrats GIRLS, WE DID IT!
Without my bestfriend, no one will patiently listen to my complains and still push me to work my ass off. & yes, thank you for sacrificing our "gossip" time for me to study. hahaha
Without Engineer #3, who would be my teacher? Thank you for willingly explain things to us when we don't know and get confused. & yes, for free coffee too. :)
Without Boss A who spend 3 hours of his day teaching Power Paff Girls, we most probably still makes things complicated. & for pushing us to aim high... Truly, we are very grateful.
Without Boss Y and Boss G who believe I can do it well when I doubt myself, thank you for trusting me.
& to whoever else involved directly and indirectly, thank you.
LOL, gaya macam menang award je nak kasi speech macam tu. But truly, I don't think I'll get this results without their encouragement. I am forever grateful.
Oh well. Enough said. We need to sleep now. Hehe.
May the future be awesome. Looking forward for the next challenges!
lots of love,
Posted at 10:40 pm by jmunawwarah
Countdown - 13 days to go
13 more days to exam.
& I'll be going for family vacation tomorrow.
After about 2 weeks of trying to absorb everything, I do think we need a short little break to breath. I am beat to be honest. Physically and mentally tired. Pretty stress and worried too. We need to chillax a bit ya know.
But that doesn't mean we are leaving all the knowledge behind. I'll do my best to do some short reading while on vacation as well. Wish me luck on that. Haha.
And once we're back, we hope we get stronger to fight this challenge. (read: The Exam). Yosh.
Let's have some fun first. XD
Lots of love,
Posted at 11:38 am by jmunawwarah
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Exam worries me.
Walaupun boleh cakap dekat orang, "Tak de hal lah. We all can do it punya."
But truth is, aku takut.
I hardly care about other people expectation. But with some people keep on pushing for us to get DISTINCTION (90+ marks)... & keep on asking "Are you ready for exam now, Jamaliatul?"
Man, give us a break. Tanya hari-hari pun macam lah boleh ready tuk jawab esok. & bila jawab dengan honest, "Saya target MERIT (80+) je." Boleh pulak ada come back, "Wah, not ambitious eh you?" Hai, kau nak jawab untuk aku ke?
Jadinya, bila hari-hari seterusnya mereka tanya soalan yang sama, aku pun jawablah "DISTINCTION." Lepas tu, baru reda sikit. Tak kacau hari-hari dah. Few weeks later baru dorang start tanya balik. hahaha.
Dah kerja, tapi rasa macam budak Uni balik bila dorang treat kitorang macam ni. Aku faham, korang nak kitorang berjaya (lah kot). Tapi tak perlu letak unwanted pressure macam tu skali. Tak de sorang pun dari kitorang yang target untuk gagal. Itu aku pasti.
Apa yang aku worry kan?
Tahukan perasaan bila dah belajar sikit, lepas tu kau rasa bodoh gila, benda basic pun tak tau. sob sob. Dan kau wonder, kenapa kau TAK INGAT~! Bukan dah belajar ke dulu! Dan kemudian kau stress, melayan perasaan sendiri. Bahahaha. Lately ni aku rasa, kerap gak melayan perasaan macam ni. Sigh.
I don't like it one bit.
Tahukan aku seorang yang optimistic? Dalam setiap perkara yang kita lalui, kita kena sentiasa berfikiran positif dan mempunyai motivasi yang tinggi. I've been brought up that way and it's way of life. LOL. Over kau, Eira! Tapi it's true lah. Lepas beberapa ketika melayan unwanted emotion tu, kemudian kau come back balik dengan menaikkan semangat untuk buat sehabis baik! Yang penting, jangan sesekali putus asa!
Dalam pada itu, sebenarnya aku tengah worry ni. Petang tadi, kitorang pergilah jumpa coach mintak tips for exam. Bila dengar soalan-soalan from previous exam, OMG, cuaknya~! Aku rasa if we study and do all the preparation required, it should not be a problem kot. Cumanya, since at the moment, baru study a few topics je. So bila dengar soalan-soalan dari topik yang belum disentuh, boleh rasa nak nangis gak. Apa ni? Apa ni? T___T Dan disebabkan itu aku worry.
Dan kemudian, adalah tertengok kertas yang ada list name mereka-mereka yang nak ambil exam ni. Dalam kertas itu siap ada markah semua 10 courses yang kitorang dah pergi, siap ranking uolls! *nangis lagi* Perlu ke semua ranking ni? Tak cukup ke kalau kitorang pass je?
Dan selepas ditengok, aku di tahap AVERAGE lah. Memang tau pun, aku average je among all. Tetapi untuk selamat dari "unwanted attention and circumstances," maka dengan itu, kita perlu naik skit dari current ranking itu. Therefore, it is required for myself to work my ass off a lil more harder than what I'm doing now.
Bukan untuk orang lain, tapi untuk diri sendiri.
Aku target untuk pass dengan MERIT sebenarnya. Sebab aku rasa itu aku mampu. Adakah itu bermaksud aku tak mampu dapat DISTINCTION? It's not impossible to be honest. I just need to work really hard to get it. Cumanya, MERIT itu minimum requirement aku.
& I'M GONNA GET IT! I'M GONNA PASS WITH MERIT!
(perlu caps lock untuk menaikkan semangat diri sendiri. haha)
Kadang-kadang aku fikir, all we need is actually motivation. & hati kena kuat untuk terus bangkit dan melawan. Aku admit lah, ada certain time, aku rasa penat untuk berdiri sendiri. Like I wish, i could let loose a bit and fall. Dan kemudian bila dah tenang, bangkit balik. Tapi in my current situation, I cannot let myself fall too hard. Not now, Eira. Be strong!
Okay, I should stop. My current writing is starting to go a lil bit more personal now. haha
Wish me luck, bloggy! Hiks. I'll do my very best, as always.
lots of love,
Posted at 09:16 pm by jmunawwarah
Free Dictionary defined comfort zone as a situation or position in which a person feels secure, comfortable or in control. Couldn't agree more. Personally, i believe we have quite a number of comfort zone. The permanent being our family, our home. The semi-almost permanent could be our close/best friends. The others could be the office you're currently in, the people in your team, the people you usually hang out with, the job you're comfortable with and the list could go on and on.
Getting out of the comfort zone could prove to be hard enough. The first step is usually hard, for me. Having changes in the comfort zone disturb the balance that you have. It worries you, make you feel sad and if this changes is something that is significant to you... it could makes you feel stress out a bit. But changes are good though. We couldn't deny that. But having said that, if I am given the chance to make things stay as it is, I would love to do that as well. Haha.
This comfort zone that we have now, was not there previously. It is because we stepped out from the current comfort zone and took some risks / opportunities that this new comfort zone exists. & once you get all comfortable, i guess it is time for us to take new risk and create a new one. The cycle repeats every time.
Comfort zone: Office
My section team is my comfort zone while in the office. Having all members present in the office makes me feel calm. But this week, most of them were not in. With boss on vacation, engineer #3 on training and AU-3 team being busy (therefore most of the time not present at our area)... there was only me there. To be honest, as much as the place is my comfort zone, without the team members it is just a zone with no comfort. But I survived lah obviously. Haha. I was only bored.
When i just got into the department, this section team was a strange place for me. I do not know how to get involved, i find it hard to connect with the team. & Everyone is always doing their own thing. Our boss (the boss before the current) can be quite nice but pretty strict. So it's quite hard to be really comfortable with him. The engineers were usually busy and I am usually left wondering what I'm supposed to do. It was only when we were assigned to a specific project that I feel that I am involved with the team. But still, I couldn't feel that comfort zone yet. Every single time we almost create the zone, something just tend to change. For example, Engineer #1 moved to different team, Engineer #2 got transferred oversea and the boss resigned.
March last year, I was assigned to new project with Engineer #3. In June / July, we had new temporary manager. In October, we finally had new permanent manager. Changes after changes.
It is a struggle to create that comfort zone that I craved for, but I believe I managed to create that zone finally. A small comfort zone created with Engineer #3 (a struggle if you must know) which then lead to a big zone with the whole section team. It feels like a great success, you know. Hahaha. Like finally~!
But now when things get too comfortable and i get too attached to my team (especially my core team) already. Guess what, changes is coming soon. & i don't like it. T___T. As much as I foresee this already, but being the "attached" Eira... sigh, I don't feel that I'm ready for this changes yet. But like it or not, ready or not... it is bound to happen.
What's gonna happen soon? Well, Engineer #3 is going to be transferred oversea very soon. We heard this earlier of the year already but it was only confirmed yesterday. It is expected that this core team will part once the project is over. But expecting and having to go through it is a different thing eh? Perhaps it was just me. I'm just too comfortable and also too attached. My bad. Sigh.
Secondly, I might be leaving the section team too, after The Exam. Sometime June, I think. But I can hardly predict what I'll be doing or where I'll be going after The Exam. It will be depending on my results and management decision as well. Oh well.
Thirdly, I'm not sure what's the plan for the section team. Since once AU-3 is over, we don't have any project to drill. Will the members be dispersed? I'm not sure.
Eira, please take this changes positively. Changes are good and required for our growth. Take it one at a time though. It's okay to be sad. But rather on spending too much time being sad, why not cherish the moment?
I refused to say good bye. We will meet again soon, right? Thank you. & i wish you the very best. :)
lots of love,
Posted at 09:24 pm by jmunawwarah
Wednesday, April 08, 2015
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes
Because I'm listening to Cinderella's "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes"
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartache
Whatever you wish for you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true.A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes
Let's keep on believing. :)
lots of love,
Posted at 10:11 pm by jmunawwarah
Aku cuba untuk tak judge orang hanya berdasarkan apa yang aku dengar. I have tried my best untuk kasi peluang kepada manusia tersebut untuk tunjuk siapa diri dia yang sebenar, tanpa meletakkan apa-apa expectation pun. Tapi... kalau dari apa yang aku dah lihat dan apa yang aku dah lalui personally, adalah sama dengan semua cerita yang aku pernah dengan sebelum ni... adakah salah kalau aku judge orang tersebut macam tu?
Personally, aku tak de masalah untuk berkawan dengan orang tersebut. Tapi untuk terlalu rapat, ada sedikit keraguan di situ. Cumanya, aku terpaksa cakap dengan jujur, i don't think i could work with you anymore. I couldn't, I wouldn't and I shouldn't work with you anymore. It's tiring on my part. Mentally, physically and emotionally... it's too tiring.
Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku ni terlalu baik dan terlalu tinggi tahap kesabaran aku. Kalau pun marah, orang tersebut tak terasa pun bila aku marah dia. Mungkin sebab aku cuba control jugak sebenarnya. Sebab kalau aku lepaskan semua kemarahan tu, mahu terkeluar semua kata-kata yang aku yakin aku akan menyesal beberapa jam kemudian. Tapi janganlah uji kesabaran aku banyak sangat. Bila aku hilang sabar, memang direct je aku cakap.
Tapi even so, I was told by my bestfriend that my words were still "too kind." Sigh. Tak cukup mencucuk hati ke ni? Hahaha. But I don't want to hurt anybody anyway. Cuma mungkin, aku perlu lebih jujur bagitau apa yang aku rasa dekat orang tu.
Oh well. I'll think about it.
lots of love,
Posted at 08:04 pm by jmunawwarah
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
I think I'm too free lately that my thoughts tend to go out of control. Thinking about unnecessary things which would then makes me feel disappointed and sad.
Which is not good for me. I dislike being unhappy, if i could help it.
I can feel that the feeling of insecure is attacking me now. As much as i hate this feeling, i accepted it as well. It's just a matter of changing the route the mind is thinking. & PMS-ing doesn't help either. Stubborn heart & mind. (=.=)"
We know what we have and we know what we don't have. & we know we cannot always have what we want either. We do know we will get the opportunity to have it as well. It's just a matter of time, anyway. & sometimes, things happened for reasons, which we don't know about it now.
Allah is the best planner of all. Have faith and trust that Allah has the best plan for us. We will be fine. & dear heart, can you please be patience and jangan gelabah?
p/s: Rasanya, ini cuma mainan perasaan sebab PMS.
Let's aim to be happy then,
Posted at 09:31 pm by jmunawwarah
Monday, February 16, 2015
Yang membuatkan persahabatan itu kekal, adalah sifat toleransi. Kita masing-masing adalah individu yang berbeza. Walau macam mana pun sekepala, hati dan perangai lain-lain. Jadinya, tidak mengejutkan bila kita tidak dapat berfikir sama seperti yang lain pada setiap masa.
Normal lah tu. Kita kan manusia.
Sifat toleransi ni penting untuk semua orang praktikkan. Kau tak boleh fikir hanya satu atau dua individu saja yang patut mengamalkan sifat ni. Tak bolehlah macam tu. Semua orang ada tahap kesabaran masing-masing. Kalau orang yang sama saja bertoleransi dengan semua kerenah setiap orang, sampai satu tahap mahu meletus gunung berapi yang terpendam tu. Tak kiralah berapa rapatnya korang. Benda ni berlaku.
Kadang-kadang mereka yang selalu bertoleransi ni mengharapkan benda yang sama juga. Untuk orang lain bertoleransi dengan mereka. Tak banyak pun mereka mintak. Secebis toleransi sudah memadai kadang-kadang. It's the thoughts that counts.
Susah nak menggembirakan hati semua orang. Memang kadang-kadang terpaksa mementingkan diri sedikit. Tapi janganlah melampaui batas sampai sengaja menyakitkan hati orang lain okay.
Toleransi. Be considerate.
lots of love,
Posted at 09:51 pm by jmunawwarah
Macam kebiasaan hari Ahad malam, I would be downstairs, in front of the TV with mama, helping out to fold up all the clothes while she would be busy ironing. As much as the TV is on, we would talk and share stories and sometimes gossiping as well. Cerita kitorang biasa je selalunya. Apa jadi the whole week, any news / good information yang dia nak cerita... random lah sebenarnya topik perbincangan kitorang ni.
Aku terpanggil nak share topik untuk hari ni. Topik ni topik berbangkit yang secara jujurnya, aku malas nak cerita. Tapi let's focus on the main point for this post okay.
& so the story begins:
Semalam mama pergi kenduri anak kawan dia. Whereby kat sana she met her two sisters (my aunts). My aunt tanyalah mama, "So when can we rasa your kenduri pulak, Yah?" Imagining my mom tersengih sambil jawab "Well, that you have to ask my children lah."
My aunt then sort of suggested, "Perhaps, I can try and look for suitable Engineer candidate in my office for her." Do you know what my mom say?
"Find a handsome one but not too handsome."
Memang terus tergelaklah aku bila dengar mama cakap macam tu. But I have to agree lah. As much as, tak de la aku cari orang se-handsome Stephen Amell (you can google him, if you don't know him).... a good looking person memanglah semua orang nak kot. But tak perlu handsome gilalah kot. Yang sedap mata aku and mama memandang is enough. Ahahaha.
& aku cakap jugaklah mama... "Someone older please? I cannot younger people as i would tend to brozone and act sister-like with them."
& mama agreed, "Tapi not so old jugak." According to mom's standard, this person should not be more than 5 years my senior. I agree with that standard as well.
Kalau dulu, aku tak suka bila orang nak kenen-kenenkan aku dengan orang yang aku tak kenal / tak suka. Not to say that I'm okay with that now. I don't mind meeting people in general. But don't ever force me to marry lah. Sekadar jumpa and lepak, okay je kot. Makes new friends, i would say (if things doesn't happen).
Okay... that's not the real point actually.
The real point is this, LAW OF ATTRACTION. Mama ceritalah yang masa dia pergi training, this trainer cerita pasal her experience getting a husband through this law of attraction method. How? Simply by just jotting down the criteria that she wants in the husband, and think about it every day. Because her thoughts dah fokus ke arah apa yang dia nak, secara tak langsung, she's attracting orang yang ada this criteria. & dia dapat apa yang dia nak. A husband with her criteria and got married by the age of 26 (part of her goal).
I don't know how to explain it well. But i understand the concept. It's the same thing macam bila kita set goal on apa yang kita nak. Contoh, macam masa SPM dulu aku target 10As. So i jotted down the goal and tampal belakang pintu. Every single day before i went out of my room untuk pergi sekolah, aku akan baca the goal. Sampai this goal dah lekat kat otak. Secara tak langsung, bila adanya this goal dalam otak, my body starts to move towards the goal. I studied. I paid attention in class and etc. & in the end, I did managed to get 10As for my SPM.
The same thing jugak with my career. When i was in first year, i dreamed of working in offshore the first few years of starting my career. & if i'm not mistaken i did dreamed of becoming a drilling engineer back then too. After my internship, i changed my mind. I wanted to be a Production Technologist instead. But I didn't think of PTech as hard as i dreamed for Drilling Engineer., i guess & now, i am able to work offshore and i am in drilling. To be honest, i only realized and remembered my dreams a few months after i started working.
It's all about mindset sebenarnya. It's all about getting through your subconscious mind. If you believe that you can do it, then you can do it.
Faham tak point aku sebenarnya?
Okay, berbalik kepada topik perbincangan dengan mama tadi. Mama cakap, "So now, you try to think what kind of person you want to meet, under what kind of circumstances you want to meet this person and etc. & try to think about it everyday. Mungkin nanti, dibukakan jalan for you to meet this person."
Okay ma. I'll try. Since i do think that this law of attraction did work for me when i wanted to achieved my goals. So why can't i used it for this purpose as well kan? It's part of the efforts selain berdoa. Hahaha.
Do you think I'm desperate? To be honest, I don't think so. I'm okay so far. Cuma obviously you don't want to end up alone in the end kan. So yeah... Sigh.
Penatlah topik ni. I can see that my parents macam dah worry for me and my bro. Ohwell. Chill okay. Things will happen naturally. Never too late nor too early. & definitely with the right person. That much i believe. So chill okay?
Aku harap orang faham point aku sebenarnya. It's hard to explain things that you cannot see but need to believe. Later then!
lots of love,
Posted at 09:32 pm by jmunawwarah
I'm officially 26 yesterday.
Unbelievable. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that I have live for 26 years. I'm still breathing in this planet earth. I have finished my schooling years. I am now working as an engineer. I'm pretty much single but surprisingly I'm very much happy with my life now.
At the age of 26, the thoughts that runs through my mind is how blessed i am to live in this world. I may not have everything that you have (nor do you have everything that i have) but I am very much grateful to have all the people that is dear to me in my life.
My family and extended family means the world to me. & my friends are my family. In other words, my friends means the world to me too. Hehehe. To have all of you around me, makes me feel so happy. Terasa sangat disayangi. :)
This year, i had 2 early birthday celebration. One from Ramli Johan's clans, another from my girls. Had lunch birthday treat from my partner, family birthday dinner accompany by 2 of my girls, birthday breakfast treat by my senpai and warm wishes from my friends. Looking forward for brunch birthday date with my Sri Aman darlings this weekend. :)
I do not need birthday presents to be happy. Just my beloved people's presence is enough nowadays. Ahh, I'm pretty much easy to please eh?
Anyway, we all should learn to be happy with simple things. Make do with what we have. Learn to be grateful. & at the same time, keep moving forward to achieve whatever we're looking for, ok?
On the other note, my first week of working for 2015 is exhausting. Haha. 3 days of super productive day, another 2 of take it easy days. Traffic was super bad this week: 2 and a half hours of traffic on Wednesday, 3 hours on Thursday. That really took a toll on me somehow. Today, i feel pretty much exhausted, i can barely open up my eyes. Hoping the traffic would be better next week, but i kind of think it's gonna be bad as well. Considering schools start new session next week. Oh well, we should hope for the best!
So how's your first week of 2015?
lots of love,
Posted at 10:18 pm by jmunawwarah